You know that EW I vowed to finish over the weekend? I made it to the last page this morning, always an editorial from one of several fairly esteemed writers (Stephen King, Dalton Ross, and, this time, Diablo Cody), and had mixed feelings when I read the pull-quote, something about how butterflies flew around her lower torso when she learned that the New Kids on the Block may be reuniting for a tour. I had a glimmer of excitement at first, then quickly realized this was probably one of those sarcastic "I hated NKOTB so much" articles from alt-grunge chicks who never jumped on the bandwagon and couldn't see what millions of obsessed girls could possibly find appealing about them.
How awesome, then, to read on and see that Ms. Cody WAS an NKOTB fan, *just* as obsessed as me, Sarah, and Alena, and to top it off, was a JOEY girl! She rattled off trivia so well that it gave me goosebumps--she knew his middle name is Mulrey! That he's one of nine kids! That his idol is Frank Sinatra! I haven't ever read a mature, NKOTB-loving article, particularly by this brand of person (an indie screenwriter who wore a leopard-print halterish dress showing off her large tattoo last night at the Oscars), and how refreshing it was! This is definitely an article to go in the page-protected binder.
I mean, come on...boy bands are specific to *every* generation. Why are NKOTB lovers so shat on? These groups provide a common obsession point to girls in the awkward tween-and-early-teen phase, bringing together friends who aren't really mature enough to discuss serious issues but need something in common to squeal over. And since every boy band has five different brands of boy in it (the Donnie lover is a sexy rebel, the Jonathan fan is the kind of girl who dates gay men because they're so sweetly sensitive, the Jordan obsessor likes her men generically handsome and musical, the Joey squealer likes 'em cute and bubbly, and the Danny lusters...erm...sorry, Danny lusters? Any Danny lusters out there?), any girl can find her favorite.
If the reunion happens, we are so there. I recorded "Hangin' Tough" and "Hangin' Tough Live" on DVD for Emily as part of her Christmas present, and had a grand old time watching those relics again. Joey lip-synching "Please Don't Go Girl" because his voice had changed long ago...Jon's half-hearted pelvic thrusts during the group "Hey Hey, I feel all right" flirt...Jordan rakishly spinning his fedora around during the dull-as-dishwater "I'll Be Loving You (Forever)"...Joey's hat with the top cut out that I seriously loved because it showed his curly head, forgetting, I guess, the purpose of a hat...Jordan's timely "Batman" puffy jacket...the ridiculous homoerotic dances (like when they flipped each other up on their backs while Donnie sang "Cover Girl" or something)...girls with crunchy, curly bangs bawling in the audience every time a New Kid made eye contact or shouted something like "This one goes out to all you beautiful girls out there" in their adorable Bostonian accents...
I'll stop here because I could go on for hours and, basically, recap the whole thing line by line.
How awesome, then, to read on and see that Ms. Cody WAS an NKOTB fan, *just* as obsessed as me, Sarah, and Alena, and to top it off, was a JOEY girl! She rattled off trivia so well that it gave me goosebumps--she knew his middle name is Mulrey! That he's one of nine kids! That his idol is Frank Sinatra! I haven't ever read a mature, NKOTB-loving article, particularly by this brand of person (an indie screenwriter who wore a leopard-print halterish dress showing off her large tattoo last night at the Oscars), and how refreshing it was! This is definitely an article to go in the page-protected binder.
I mean, come on...boy bands are specific to *every* generation. Why are NKOTB lovers so shat on? These groups provide a common obsession point to girls in the awkward tween-and-early-teen phase, bringing together friends who aren't really mature enough to discuss serious issues but need something in common to squeal over. And since every boy band has five different brands of boy in it (the Donnie lover is a sexy rebel, the Jonathan fan is the kind of girl who dates gay men because they're so sweetly sensitive, the Jordan obsessor likes her men generically handsome and musical, the Joey squealer likes 'em cute and bubbly, and the Danny lusters...erm...sorry, Danny lusters? Any Danny lusters out there?), any girl can find her favorite.
If the reunion happens, we are so there. I recorded "Hangin' Tough" and "Hangin' Tough Live" on DVD for Emily as part of her Christmas present, and had a grand old time watching those relics again. Joey lip-synching "Please Don't Go Girl" because his voice had changed long ago...Jon's half-hearted pelvic thrusts during the group "Hey Hey, I feel all right" flirt...Jordan rakishly spinning his fedora around during the dull-as-dishwater "I'll Be Loving You (Forever)"...Joey's hat with the top cut out that I seriously loved because it showed his curly head, forgetting, I guess, the purpose of a hat...Jordan's timely "Batman" puffy jacket...the ridiculous homoerotic dances (like when they flipped each other up on their backs while Donnie sang "Cover Girl" or something)...girls with crunchy, curly bangs bawling in the audience every time a New Kid made eye contact or shouted something like "This one goes out to all you beautiful girls out there" in their adorable Bostonian accents...
I'll stop here because I could go on for hours and, basically, recap the whole thing line by line.
(P.S. The picture above is not from the Hangin' Tough Live era, but maybe a year later. Joey is older now and realizes he's got the golden ticket to a million easy lays should he want them, and Donnie's in full rebel-unwashed mode. Jordan is uncomfortably beginning to realize he is maybe not cut out for this boy band stuff after all, as he is a huge homosexual, and Jon has the same sickly look. Danny's actually not half-bad in this photo...the tan and fortunate angle agree with him.)
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