There's a lot to talk about.

1. Remember how I said it wasn't going to happen?

It did.

2. Why didn't anyone else hug Cook when Ryan said his name instead of the highly-anticipated Archuleta win? Archie just went to the side immediately after the cursory hug, looking like he was dying to get away. Is this the drawback of a double-male finale? No affection between the contestants? Cook seems to be all touchy-feely, in a good way, but Archie just looks stiff and awkward.

3. Two words: George EFFING Michael. Oh man. The medley, which began with the girls singing "Faith," segueing into the boys singing an awesome version of "Father Figure" (with added bonus of David Hernandez whispering the "naked" line all sexy and strippery), then a rousing rendition of "Freedom '90," would have been enough. But I freaked the heeze out when they said "Ladies and gentlemen, George Michael..." Oh LORD what I wouldn't give to go to that concert. (Would give? Wouldn't give? Whichever one means I'd give a lot. July 9th at the United Center, in case anyone wants to throw a few hundred bones my way.) He sounded a bit iffy at first with "Praying for Time," but then it got beautiful. And he explained to Ryan that he had a cold. Oh, I love him. Love love love love him. The hair, the teeth, the legs...it is allllll still working for him.

(P.S. Just realized that every song in the George-medley begins with an "F"! In one case, that's a double Scattergories score! Coincidence? I doubt it. [Because George, as aforementioned, is F'ING awesome!!!])

4. What was Carrie Underwood wearing? Just a white bedazzled suit jacket with no formal shorts, and a hand-cape attached to both wrists? She was going to trip on that thing. I did not hate her song.

5. For the first time, the group medley between the remaining contestants didn't suck! Cook and Archie did "Heroes," from my favorite ugly/sexy man, the Kroger dude from Nickelback. Their harmony was gorgioso.

6. I really, really liked the two finalists' "songs-with-existing-rock-stars" (though putting OneRepublic in the same category as ZZ Top doesn't exactly match up...)--Cook singing "Sharp Dressed Man" with the trio of bearded men, and Archie singing a very surprisingly nice version of "Too Late to Apologize" or whatever with the new folks.

7. Who are the Jonas Brothers and why are they so popular? Is it because the lead guy can pull off a shiny silver suit? Because I just don't get it.

8. Seal is hot. Not with Syesha--I wanted her to shut it. But Seal in a t-shirt, I can do. (In a lot of ways.)

9. The "Gladys-Knight-auditions-Pips" scene could have been hi-larious. Ben Stiller? Jack Black? Robert Downey Jr.? But it went way too long, and they didn't do enough. Jack tried his hardest to ham it up, but why were the other two going through the moves with such a lack of pizazz? (I want that to be spelled "pizzazz.")

10. Jimmy Kimmel bombed, I think. Why do people think he's funny? (see also Ray Romano)

11. Ryan dancing with the Donna Summer people was cute. And I don't generally think Seacrest is cute.

12. Melinda Doolittle in the audience! Still so perfectly, shyly adorable.

13. So was Janice Dickinson! Stephen, your cougar is waiting...

14. Awesome contrast of Guitar Hero commercials, one Cook re-enacting Tom Cruise's "Risky Business" scene in tighty whiteys; the other, Archie attempting to do the same, but in more modest boxers and wayy less leg action. One was sexy, one was uncomfortable. I'll let you guess who was smokin'.

15. Watching Amanda Overmyer, The Rocker Nurse, try to work up enthusiasm for the group performances, was a show in and of itself. This summer is going to be mi-ser-able for her. I almost want to get a ticket just to see her roll her eyes for two hours.

(Dang. I just found out only the top ten go on the tour. Never mind. That would have been one hot mess, though.)

16. When they announced that Michael Johns & Carly Smithson were going to sing "The Letter" together, I groaned, expecting them to massacre the perfect Krauss/Plant song. But no, they sung the one that I always remember from, like, Casey Kasem's top 40 countdown in junior high, when they would sing a parody that went "Oh Vanna, turn me a letter." That's all I hear whenever that song is within listening distance. Carly was shrieky, as usual.

17. Mike Myers is BACK! We may even go see "The Love Guru" now. Although the Davids' date...alone...to an empty theatre...to watch it was Everything Awkward.

18. I heart when boys cry. In fact, the book "Men Crying," a series of photographs of actors told to cry, is on my wish list.

19. Castro sing "Allelujah" again (I thought it was "Hallelujah" before, but I felt the "A" was stressed during the intro tonight so I doubted myself), all nervously and shaky, but it worked. I'd buy his album. (Ok, let's be honest. I'd illegally download it off our Torrent program.)

20. Simon should apologize to everyone he's mean to, every week!

21. NO CALLS from giggly fans tonight! Maybe they'll take a cue from all the recaps saying it's severely dreaded...though the call from the girl who was Simon's first kiss was admittedly FREAKING adorable. And Simon got all blushy and cute.

22. I wish they would have given more attention to the charming/memorable auditioners, rather than give that Renaldo dude an entire segment for his song, complete with USC cheerleaders and their (apparently) entire marching band.

23. But, I really don't, do not do not like when they show the "bad" auditions and are mean to the singers. Like the "Go Down Moses" guy. They laughed for like two minutes in his face, and he seemed so nice in his interview package. I mean, I understand wanting to show funny clips, but there's a line between that and just being mean, and they crossed it.

24. Was Chikeze even in that opening number?


And? The Cards are winning. A SUPER end to a SUPER night in TV-Land!