Friday, May 13, 2011

It is Friday.

And it's been a long week. Four-day weeks are always long, because you expect them to be short.

Today I'm in Chance by Chanel and my altered Scrabble tile King Louis XIV chair (or whatever) necklace...my cardigan is too long and delicate for a necklace, and my hair is (okay, WAS) down so no earrings (P.S., Herbal Essences Pin-Straight Shampoo and Conditioner combo: YOU DO NOT WORK). Oh, and I'm wearing an ugly, ugly boot. It is also hot in the boot. And total flip-flop weather. BEW.

I'm a little resigned, because in the very close horizon is a new-ish eating plan. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not even going to talk about it specifically. I just know things have to change, and I can't do it alone, and I can't do it using general dietary regulations like WW or a reduction in caloric intake, because at this point in my life, I don't have the $%*ing discipline. And that depresses me. I've done it before, but I can't do it now. I'm in such severe Food-As-Comfort and Self-Sabotage mode that I can't even go more than a couple days without ruining it. I've tried OA; I may go back, but I need something more immediate now (they were all thin! Gah!) so it won't be a twice-a-week thing just yet. I need to supplement those meetings with a definite plan.

I've been gritting my teeth all day...not a good sign. I'm hungry for lunch but what's here doesn't sound good. There is work to be done but my motivation is in the negative zone. I didn't get much sleep during my sub-desk lunchtime nap (and a big fat four hours last night!). I'm addicted to online games again. Scraps of paper clutter my bags, filled with grocery items to buy, chores to do, things to look up, and errands to run.



But at least it's Friday. I have the whole weekend to turn the grump around...

1 comment:

Shannon said...

so glad you're back!
keep it up!
cheer cheer cheer!
:)