I have something to say.

That sounds so solemn, doesn't it? I don't mean it to...I really do just have something to say today, as opposed to NOT having something to say (which has kinda been the case for these past few weeks).





Anyway, this is another meandering, purposeless post, even though I *have* intentions. It's been quite a rollercoaster of a month. I always despise January-February (despite great events like Idol's beginning, Valentine's Day, the OSCARS [!!!!!!!], and even the Superbowl), and all through December I kept thinking "Ugh, JANUARY'S coming. Ugh." And then it began...and I was surprisingly jaunty. I had all these things I wanted to tackle, and Neil was on his way home from Ohio, and I was actually happy!





Then, we encountered a major obstacle, and we've been working on recovering from that. Because of this, there hasn't been quite a normal day since January 5th--although every day isn't terrible, or anything. In fact, most of the time, my heart is warmed being surrounded by so many loving friends and family members. It's during times of trial that they come out of the woodwork wanting to offer a shoulder, lend an ear, or give advice, and it brings tears to my eyes to be blessed with such wonderful folks. So thank you:





Lily...I love how you check on me and are so loyal.


Pops...you're the first one I call, for anything good or bad.


Joe...your quiet affection and concern touches me deeply.


Steve...thanks for making me laugh so hard, even through tears, while still expressing how much family means to you.


Roger...a constant, and you've such a knack for calling exactly when I need you!


Lindsay...I love that I can just be myself around you...I feel like our friendship, though based on something years old, is new and different. Yet you can still make me laugh constantly, as you always have done, and I NEED that now!


Betsy...I am, time and time again, touched by your presence and your enthusiasm for our renewed friendship. Your advice and "virtual check-ups" mean so much to me!


Suzy...a true gift of a friend. You've saved me from tears more than once.


Emily...you know what you mean to me. I love you always.


Shannon...what an unexpected and wonderful gift, having you back in my life...a happiness I am thriving on these days...thank you for coming on this here blog to see me from afar. :)


Brandy...who can NOT be joyfully happy in your presence? No one, that's who...


Sarah I....a sweetheart beyond compare. Seeing me every day might prove to be a trial on others' patience, but your smiling face is one that never falters, every morning.


Sarah M....you deserve sainthood, Miss Miller, for all you do for me. Let's just leave it at that...


Mel & Stef...what a treasure you two are! I have come to terms with SO MUCH during our brief sessions...thank you so.


Paul & Stacy...you continue to be inspirational, loving, and gosh DANG did I get lucky with my in-laws...!


Becca....you make me smile so often, and in this gloomy month, nothing is needed more than that. Love you, my brand-new niece!


Mama...I have 'talked' with you many an evening lately, wondering if things will get better, or asking what I need to do to help us along. I feel your presence every day.





and my Neil...through good days and bad, you never let much time pass between "I love you"s and smiles...and your patience with me while I figure out how to keep my sanity is unparalleled. A couple of ladies mentioned above tell me that in these times of trial, it's destined that we're together, to lean on one another instead of having to go through life alone. I couldn't agree more. I love you more than anything I've ever known.





Okay...wow, that was too serious. Let's lighten the mood!





A few of the Lambson-family blog owners have been pondering their careers, what could have been, etc., and I didn't even think about doing the same since I'm so happy where I am now.





But I think it's a neat activity, so just for kicks, here's five careers I could have done at one point...





1. Stage manager (college major, did work for pro theatre companies in the capacity)...then, after a particularly harrowing summer at Arrow Rock (every time my once-broken thumb is stiff, I'm reminded how much I hate that place), I threw in the towel. But it's one of the few jobs in theatre where there are always positions open! Thankless as hell, and at $200 a week, who's complaining? (ME!)





2. Editor (assistant, etc)...NYU's Summer Publishing Institute was my foot in the door for this, and I was kinda on my way, but I saw how far $22K for a starting gig would get you in the big city, and I elected to go back to Columbia and prep for law school. I absolutely miss NYC, and wonder if I made the right decision...if given the chance to live anywhere near it, I'd jump at it. (Of course that also applies to Seattle, or San Diego, or San Fran, or Charleston, or Bath, or...)





3. Proofreader...again, another position I feasibly could have landed via my contacts through NYU. No one else wants to do it, and I thrive on catching errors. Without a journalism major, it's tough to get started in this career--but I still hold out hope for a freelance opportunity someday.





4. Lawyer (but three months of school was all I could handle). I just don't think that way. I don't think that's a good thing or a bad thing...I read cases like short stories, and when I disagreed with the precedent, it was hard for me to accept that I had no choice but to use them as an argument.





5. Children's/Teen librarian. Unfortunately, the ONLY courses at MU that focus on either of these areas are by the Worst Professor Ever. One of the reasons I wanted to transfer to UIUC was to take their myriad of wonderful courses on these subjects. Of course, I would never be able to act out Story Time. Never.





...followed by five DREAM jobs...





1. Entertainment lawyer (two law schools would have been GREAT for this, neither of which I even applied for; one in NYC, one in California). I *might* have even done well if I were passionate about the material!





2. Book preservationist (But you have to go to Curator school, or be an apprentice)...the best tours I've ever been on were through the preservation labs of the Bodleian library last May and the Archives' department just a couple of weeks ago. I would so thrive on sitting down with an old varnished map, taking a q-tip with an approved solution, and slowly, methodically, tediously cleaning every millimeter.





3. Children's Book committee member (i.e., Mark Twain, Caldecott, Newbery, etc). I have peers who do this, but they've all worked as Children's librarians--I think it would be really tough to be chosen if you haven't done that.





4. School counselor. Summers off? Scheduling kids' classes? Helping Lindsay, Emily, & Genny figure out the trials of high-school friendship? What's not to love?





5. Stage actor. I know, totally cliche. And I don't know how good I'd be at the whole same-show-every-night-for-years gig, nor having none of my nights free. But I can't compare anything to the excitement of being in a show. It's a shame I'm not that good at it. :)

All right, I'm outie. Thanks for tuning in!

P.S. This is on my desktop at work....cute, right?

Resolutions 2.0

Okay, so since last week knocked us for a loop, I need to revise my resolutions a bit.

I should probably just go for a total re-haul.

1. Begin Weight Watchers; stick with the plan for a full month.

Financially, this is a luxury, so it's going on the back burner for the moment. Once I figure out a more exact budget, though, I want to eat healthier (i.e., ground turkey instead of beef, yogurt for breakfast, etc). It's tough for me not to go to food for comfort, especially in the face of difficulties, but things look brighter every day, and I know the darkness of life-at-the-moment won't last forever. Neil's on board as well, so I won't be going it alone.

2. Join the ARC, or work out at home at least 3 times a week.

Again, this is perhaps an expense better delayed. I got a Body Ball and will try that out soon. Otherwise, I still want to get up the motivation to exercise at home for 30 minutes or so per day; it's the 'feeling up to it' part that's been lacking lately.

3. Write out all thank-you notes; send out with photos.

I have a little box prepared with all the fixings, which I haven't started yet. I'm trying to decide if I should incorporate a photo into the card or just stick one in at the end; I think it would be way cuter to craft a card around a photo.

4. Work out Pensacola trip with Neil & family.

Not going to happen. The University doesn't need Dad for the Spring semester, so though it's a sacrifice to not go to Florida, he's very happy to not have work obligations this term!

5. Read/return at least one DBRL book every other week.

I'm currently 1/3 through with Forever in Blue, and wish I could have four hours to blissfully read it to the end.

6. Work on clearing apartment clutter (books, kitchen, fridge).

Again, other needs have pushed themselves to the forefront, though this is a no-cost resolution that would feel great to make progress on. I have thrown out a barely-used sack of Flaxseed Flour from the fridge, if that counts.

7. Purchase desktop PC/set up wireless internet.

Probably a no-go for a while. Although maybe we should ask Joe to help set up our wireless before he goes back to frigid Ohio.

8. Use restaurant.com coupons.

Again, more of a luxury. But it seems such a shame to waste them!

9. Clear Hotmail inbox regularly.

This, I can do. That thing fills up so freaking quick!

10. Complete work training; become comfortable with ref duty.

My first day of reference was last Wednesday; I'm feeling more comfortable even now. Our little group of librarians is such a community that everyone asks everyone else about their ref questions, so I don't feel like such a noob doing the same.

11. Begin 30,000-mile tune-ups for Corolla.

Achhh...really, really should do this. Wow. I'm already coming up on 3,000 miles after just one month! Such is the life of a commuter, I guess. (OH...and Neil went to Ohio in that car! I almost forgot. Thank goodness!)

12. Minor things: keep up with DVR recordings; keep up with EWs.

I was down to under 50% while Neil was out of town! This hasn't happened since the first week we had the machine! Now it's back up to past 80%. As for EWs, I'm purging a few a week.

13. Purge/clip old magazines.

Major back burner here, but I'd like a crappy-weather-Sunday to devote to this.

14. Floss regularly, or use WaterPik. Visit the dentist!

I am busting out my Pik to-NIGHT! I'm making it part of my nightly bathroom bedtime ritual, which right now consists of nothing more than swish mouthwash, twirl hair into a claw, and wash hands.

15. Use my spare time for good, and not evil.

I've been doing all right so far. :)

16. E-mail friends more regularly, and with substance--and more promptly. I love writing; why don't I make more time for it?

I'm afraid with my new, crazier work schedule, that this will go by the wayside. I really don't like rushing through letters; I like to devote as much time as I want to each one, instead of grabbing ten minutes to shoot Linds/Betsy/Mel a note or whatever. Maybe I should take one lunch hour a week and instead of decompressing through WordTwist, see how writing works for a relaxant...

17. Keep my relationship with Neil open, strong, loving, and healthy.

We've been through a tough week, and we're better for it. I'm confident our support system will maintain through all life has to throw at us.

18. Be a good or better friend.

I'm so maddeningly general, aren't I?

19. Pay off some of our debt.

Wellll...this may not be a goal for the near future, but I'm not giving up on it for the year. I'll see what I can do on a very strict budget!

20. Quit Sprint!

I need to make this leap, especially since my phone dies if you tap it gently in the wrong spot. And now it's not giving me my voicemails. Lovely!


New resolves:

21. Draw out a budget plan with revised finances

Not knowing where we stand every month makes my stomach curl into knots, and I don't want to live that way right now. I've never lived with a strict budget before, and I look forward to the challenge of it. It may even make me adopt better habits for a more financially secure future, since I've never been fantastic with money.

22. Keep up the 8-hour-a-night habit

I'm loving feeling tired at 9:00 and not sleeping in much past 8:00 on the weekends. My body's adjusting so well to my new schedule; I have ever been a night owl, and I was worried that with this brand-new full-time commitment, I'd spend each day at work trying to wake myself up for eight hours.

23. Mercilessly coupon-clip, but don't buy things I won't use, just because I have a coupon.

It's exhilarating finding a fantastic deal at the store--like when a package of lunch meat is on sale for $1.00 and I have a 50-cents off coupon that's doubled. Free!

An easy meme.

You don't even have to THINK for this one! Which I am certainly in the mood for.

I don't think anyone reads my Tag-blog, so I'm putting this here...

[found on Reviewer X, this adorable smartypants who reviews teen-lit on her blog]

Directions:

Type in "[your name] ... " followed by these terms, all in quotes, in Google search (results in bold, my comments in regular typeface):

**there weren't any hard-and-fast rules listed, so I'm not necessarily choosing the first result if it doesn't make sense or is really dull.**

"...looks like"

"Genevieve looks like a freaking empress." Always, my darlings. Always.

"Genevieve looks like she is wearing a diaper !" Ach. Too many Holiday Pies, I spose.

(The others were lame, like "This is what Genevieve looks like in Japanese.")


"...says"

"And, as Genevieve says, she’s trying to provoke us." Again--ALWAYS.

(I did not choose "Genevieve says hi." Boring.)

"...wants"

"if genevieve wants to break into hollywood she will have to first change her accent totally" You don't think my voice is camera-ready? Fine, skank.

"Genevieve wants to return the favor now and so she presents Madeline with a perfume bottle that was given to her by Popo."

"...does"

"Genevieve does have a whiskey-like quality in the palate with a long, intense juniper finish." I'm not going to argue with that. I'm just saying--this isn't the first time someone's told me.

"bittersweet genevieve does it again... genevieve has done it again"

"...hates"

"Genevieve hates splashing" I mean...I don't LIKE being splashed. But I was never one of those girly-girls who 'ewwww'-ed every time a boy splashed 'em.

"I hear Geneviève hates kittens." I am allergic to cats and I don't like that they aren't friendly. This much is true. but no one hates KITTENS.

"...asks"

Eh, these are boring...

"Genevieve asks incredulously. 'Yeah, you just have to know how to play them.'"

"Genevieve asks, 'Are you going back to New York?'"

"...likes"

"Miss Genevieve likes to throw her food and drinks overboard when eating." I am such a princess.

"Genevieve likes to ensure her feet are bare before entering a house or starting a job." I DO like to take off my shoes first thing...

"...eats"

"Genevieve Eats Foot and Food" I definitely like eating feet, but please don't assume I eat something as weird as FOOD.

"Plus the fact that even if genevieve eats in class, she has the integrity to pay up. Unlike somebody who just doesn`t wants to pay that 50c." I pay that 50c EVERY TIME I eat in class. Every time!

"...wears"

"Genevieve wears a cute Rose Red Dress, that you can spin and light up when you press the button on her leg." That...THAT'S what this button does?!!

On her feet, Genevieve wears hand cobbled leather slippers. I wonder if they light up, too. It may explain the button on my pinkie toe.

"...was arrested for"

"[Genevieve was] ARRESTED FOR ELOPING" I didn't--I thought--eloping is legal, right? Why are you yelling at me?


"...loves"

"genevieve loves meeee" --Damn, this was seriously the best one on there. Disappointing. I was hoping for funnier. I chose not to go with the "Genevieve loves her new phone/camera phone/ipod" options, of which there were many.

Aaaand...

Life's back to suckage.

I do not doubt, however, that we'll physically get through this. I'm working for a reason, and when shit happens, we're more prepared than before. I am worried, though, about our sanity. It's hard for me to believe that life can be this difficult.


I read this off Dear Abby, and it applied so much to what we're facing, it was scary.


JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthily -- if only just for today. And not only that, I'll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.



I don't know if I'm ready, yet, to make any or all of these promises. But I want to, and I want to keep this up so that when we start to stand back up from the smack-down, I can do a better job of following this.

Almost 2009...

I haven't made a True New Year's Resolution List in years.





I used to do them every single New Year's Eve, and I had to do them before midnight in order for their 'magic' to work. I'd inevitably be at somebody's house, flying into an empty bedroom at 11:45, frantically trying to remember what I'd fuzzily thought about putting on the list, scribbling on a ripped-out sheet of notebook paper: "Lose lbs...kiss a boy...keep room clean..." as everyone else had a grand old time puckering up in the next room. And invariably, I wouldn't keep a single one. "Kiss a boy" isn't exactly a resolution anyway...more like a wish.





I've definitely been more on top of regular To-Do lists lately, and especially with the wedding this year, I had about twelve going at once. But the nutso-ness of life lately has pushed all minor to-dos to the side, and my recent rash of days off (FIVE! Five in a ROW!! I was sick for them, but they sure were nice otherwise...) put my important to-dos in fuller focus.





I think I'll do one this year. And I'd love to go back to this, gray out those I've done (or have made progress on...maybe I'll darker-gray those), and get back on track for some things I've let slide.





1. Begin Weight Watchers; stick with the plan for a full month. (I'm hoping this will lead into another month...and another...and another!) I'm not going to outline a specific weight-loss goal, because I believe that invites failure.





2. Join the ARC, or work out at home at least 3 times a week.





3. Write out all thank-you notes; send out with photos.





4. Work out Pensacola trip with Neil & family.





5. Read/return at least one DBRL book every other week.





6. Work on clearing apartment clutter (books, kitchen, fridge).





7. Purchase desktop PC/set up wireless internet.





8. Use restaurant.com coupons.





9. Clear Hotmail inbox regularly.





10. Complete work training; become comfortable with ref duty.





11. Begin 30,000-mile tune-ups for Corolla.





12. Minor things: keep up with DVR recordings; keep up with EWs.





13. Purge/clip old magazines.





14. Floss regularly, or use WaterPik. Visit the dentist!





15. Use my spare time for good, and not evil.





16. E-mail friends more regularly, and with substance--and more promptly. I love writing; why don't I make more time for it?





17. Keep my relationship with Neil open, strong, loving, and healthy.





18. Be a good or better friend.

19. Pay off some of our debt.

20. Quit Sprint!

I will probably add to this as I think of more, and come back to it regularly to remind myself of what I'm bound and determined to get a good start on. Or perhaps to provide a running commentary on how it's going.

{eh...who am i kidding?}

Simply Ha-a-vin'...

Oooh, am I a fan of that song! I don't know why it escaped me in recent Holiday seasons!

I know it's not unusual to like Christmas songs, and I know this isn't the *only* reason, but I've recently had an epiphany about them: I like almost every single one, because they're ALL covers. And you know how much I love covers. I know all the words, and different versions are played all day...the only difference is, I really only like old or classic-sounding versions. So I'm not so keen on, for example, Madonna's "Santa Baby" (EW. Just, EW. 50-year-old women should NOT be singing in a baby voice. Plus I just saw her on Britney: For The Record on MTV and her plastic surgery is ABOMINABLE. Who could look in the mirror and think that's an improvement?)

This year has been a little different for me, because I've discovered that KPLA changes to The Christmas Station before Thanksgiving, and I'm in the car a LOT more than I ever was previous years, so I listen to the radio for about an hour every day (with the occasional Stephen-Fry-read Goblet of Fire commute), and I'm getting to know a lot more versions of songs than I ever knew. I also sometimes play it quietly in my cube in Jeff City, and always when I'm at Stephens, to cheer me up from the feeling that I'm all alone and a killer is waiting for me in the Penthouse and is going to corner me in my office and I shall have no choice but to break through the windows into the Bitter Bitter (Way Too Bitter For December, People) cold to escape, but I will have forgotten my keys AND my coat so I'll have to walk to Dad's house and he can drive me home.

I'm loving The Chrismas Station, and have been discovering a few new songs--the aforementioned John Lennon vehicle, Trans Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Eve in Sarajevo (which I'd heard of, but avoided in recent years because what kind of scary name for a carol is that, PLUS the name of the band doesn't sound traditional), and also their Christmas Canon, which almost makes me cry every single time. Damn you, little kids who can sing good! Why must you tug at my heartstrings so?? Also, I'm not ashamed to admit it: I am loving Last Christmas. You know how I feel about George Michael.

Songs I'm not liking so much:

Grown-up Christmas List. By Anyone. Yuck. I mute the volume and wait three minutes every time it comes on. SHOULD BE OUTLAWED.

Same Old Lang Syne, Dan Fogelberg. Depressing, sounds like the ending of a bad 80s movie, and I have never, ever liked Auld Lang Syne.

Christmas Shoes, by some country guy. I. Don't. Like. Feeling. Guilty.

Apologies, Lambsons, but...anything by the Carpenters. It's not the *sound* that bothers me; she has a clear, beautifully simplistic voice. I just can't ever forget that she died from anorexia and I think about it every time I hear her voice. It's the same with all dead singers really. "I like this song, but now I'm sad because they're dead." This doesn't generally apply for really old-school singers like Bing or Rosemary or Satchmo, or those who have lived a good long life. It's Death Before Their Time that gets me.

In other news:

1. This week, my mileage hit the very delightful 22222!

2. Last night, my hubs and I got a takeout G&D's large pep and settled in to finally, finally watch "Charlie Bartlett," which we have had in its Netflix envelope since August, at least. I'm not kidding. I'm going to watch the commentary with a pumelo to distract me, or a hidden object game or something, because....wow, I didn't really get it. I mean, I *got* it, but it was jaw-droppingly unbelievable. I won't get into it, but if anyone's seen it--let's talk.

However, the pizza was incredible. I always forget...G&D's has such average OTHER fare, that the yumminess of their pizza always surprises me.

3. I'm going to sign up for Weight Watchers soon. I just have no time to prepare all the things that makes low-carb bearable, for me, and while I know I won't like WW, I do know it works. So we'll just see. I was going to sign up for it this past week, but Lily was all "I bet after the New Year they'll have sign-up specials" and I was all "Oh lord, you're right, and this gives me an excuse to eat bad for two weeks. Awesome!" I mean, she made cornflake wreaths and they were sitting right there beside Dad's homemade pumpkin walnut bread. I'm not gonna effing diet right now.

4. This month, though unfairly cold, has been really great, personal-life-wise. Neil seems like his old grinning and sweet self, I love love love my new job, I rarely sleep past nine on the weekends, I'm caught up with Christmas gifts (only one to go, and it's for baby Micah, so it won't be that hard--I already have an idea), and we're doing all right financially. My one complaint is fitting in my Stephens job. It's been really tough during this time of year to run every OTHER errand that needs doing, work twenty extra hours, and do anything but fall into bed exhausted with no leisure time. I went down to 10-12 hours starting this week, so it'll be much easier, but because it's getting down to the wire this week, it's almost harder now than it was at 20 hours. I know it'll be over soon, but I fear I may have to work a dark, cold, lonely evening this coming week to make it work.

5. We're leaving for Ohio on Christmas night, after things settle down at the Dawson home post-festivity. We'll arrive sometime late Friday night, then the next day is Paul's 40th birthday open house, followed by this huge UFC fight, which will be a good opportunity to hang with my girls Stacy and Becca. I have to be back at work, so Neil will take me to the Cleveland airport Monday morning to catch a flight to St. Louis, where I hope some kind soul will take pity on me and allow me to hang on to their bumper as they drive back to Columbia. Or, Lily or Dad will come get me. Neil has the whole week off, the stinker, so he's gonna spend some high-quality time with the Family Dazet, and I'm off to StL after work on Wednesday to spend New Year's with Emily and family. We haven't had a leisurely visit in *so* long, and I'm mondo excited to see her!

6. I got two pumelos the other day. They are gone. I love them so, so, so much. Yesterday I managed to spend a FULL HOUR peeling one in front of 91210 Season Four. It was absolutely perfect. I have to get more.

7. Today, Dad, Joe, Neil & I took our annual Downtown Chistmas Shopping Trip. Dad and I had hit Cool Stuff last week, so we stuck to Absolute Vintage, Swank, Britches, Columbia Art League, Alpine Shop, Mustard Seed (Emily I was SOOOO tempted to get Noah a sweater there that he would completely hate when he was old enough to fit into it), Arsenic Leopard, Butterfly Tattoo, Candy Factory for stocking stuffers, and of course, a PERFECT lunch at Booche's. Seeeeeeriously perfect. We didn't do other stocking shopping, because we're shaking things up a bit this year: everyone draws someone else's name, and they are responsible for that person's stocking, and the person will guess who it is. We'll do them when Steve visits in January, and Gib is part of it too since he'll be back then. I'll let you know if it's an unmitigated disaster.

I'm out of words, but I have miles to go before I sleep. Happy hols, everyone!

I know, I know, it's a stock image. I ain't a photog, peeps.

P.S. I keep forgetting to do the iTunes meme and blog about our NKOTB concert...I never have time to blog at home, and I need resources there to do both things. Dangit.

In the gloom of January, I'll be glad to have something to do, though.

High on LIFE!

Okay...not really. But I want to amp up the mood on this thing, after a pretty damned crappy few months here.


First observation of the day:


Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer for the Pussycat Dolls (and a Guest Artist on "Grown Man," brought to you by NKOTB), doesn't strike me as someone who has many body issues.

For example.

I am unclear as to why she is asking four men (five, if you count Jon, which I no longer do despite him once having the rank of Third-Favorite New Kid), at an average age of 40, if they "like" her "body," and if they "think" she is "a hottie." First: that doesn't rhyme. Second: I'm sorry, but even in their hottest days, they couldn't get a Nicole Scherzinger.

Second news item:

I got my nameplate today! "Genevieve Dazet," all black and official looking, resting on the top entrance to my cube (which actually isn't so much a cube as a shotgun, railroady-type long office space thing). My lone Office Decor is the argyle sock, framed from Sarah (oh, and a peppermint-striped ribbon from a box of lotions, strung around a file holder), and I'm excited to start making this area my own. I'm thinking the Gashlycrumb Tinies poster behind my computer, and maybe the American Folklore Theatre print on the other side.

A Summary of Now:

So...life is puttering along. It's better than it has been, and I'm relieved at that. I don't know if anything changed specifically, or if it's just the forced re-adjustment we had to deal with and are currently used to. But our home is no longer a Festival of Tension, and I don't feel that eggshells are underfoot all the time...I hope we're settled into this pattern of rest for awhile. I know everything can't be perfect all the time, but I was so worried that something had changed for good, and I had no way to make it better. Thank you, friends, for your support and love during that time of mondo-insecurity. I'm not promising I won't call you weeping/come over crying/send you a venting e-mail that's all about me anymore, but for the time being, things are all right.

We're mostly set with our Christmas gifts, for which I am grateful. If there's one awesome thing about working so very, very much over this month, it's that I don't have to worry so about affording all the nice things I want to get for everyone. I know in the past I haven't been particularly smart when it comes to being financially responsible over the holiday season, and I get into a vicious cycle: I set vague amount-limits on everyone's gifts. Then I see something perfect for Joe that's a little more than what I spent for everyone else. So I feel guilty and get everyone else a little something extra, because it's super-obvious I spent more on one person. Then, the most perfect "little something extra" for Lily costs more than everyone else's something extra, so I get another extra something for everyone else, inevitably finding something for Steve that costs more... See? It never stops. And I'm normally not in a position AT ALL to be spending what I want on these things. But I do anyway! If I were buying things for myself and it was out of control, that's one thing, but it's hard to look at buying things for other people as *wrong*.

Also, after over a year of wanting it, we finally bought this!!

It is so smooth...and light...and just freakin' fantastic. Neil took great pleasure in hauling my cheapo blue Wal-Mart vacuum out to the trash last weekend. We suddenly got a few wedding checks in the mail, and since they would all be deposited in a chunk, rather than $20 here, $50 there, it was easier to step back and say "Whoa, we can actually do something with this money!"

Our Thanksgiving weekend was a joy, as ever, but a couple things changed.

First, Jordan asked me around about the wedding-time why we never had pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. "Jordan," I said, "I'm going to change that." We used to, but it was never eaten because the apple-pie-with-Mom's-wigwam-sauce was always chosen in favor of it, and then we'd have a totally uneaten pumpkin pie left over. But I missed it. I love a pumpkin pie.

My first day of JC-work, Sarah and I went to Cafe Via Roma for lunch, a coffee/pastry/sandwich/etc shop across from the capitol building. They advertised holiday pies you could reserve, including a yummy-sounding praline pumpkin pie with a vanilla crust. I called and said I'd pick one up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and I was so excited for it. It was expensive, but I figured--I never contribute anything but dish-doing to the occasion; I might as well bring a freakin' pie.

So I drop by on my way home Wednesday night, go up to the counter, and say I'm here to pick up my pie. The barista sends another employee upstairs to get it. She comes down with a Sara Lee box, throws it on the counter, and yells "Does anyone know if we have a box?"

I mean, I don't want to be a snob. But seriously. Don't advertise on your chalkboard that we need to 'reserve a holiday pie' if you're just going to order it from a big company, box it up in your own bakery boxes, and charge an arm and a leg for it.

And it could have been that the pie was delicious. When I tried it the next day, though...it just tasted like Sara Lee. A good pie, with a nice crunchy pecan topping and a vanilla-y crust.

BUT NOT WORTH SIXTEEN DOLLARS.

Anyway.

Wildwoods Farms, where we've cut down our tree for nigh-on 30 years, is closing after this year, so they haven't been planting in recent years. Thus, we knew we couldn't find a suitable 11-12 footer for the living room's vaulted ceilings. We made the decision to go elsewhere. I did some research and made some calls, and we decided on a small, VERY organized tree farm off Brown Station Road. I'm not sure how I feel about the rows; our Wildwoods experience always involved a search, walking around a large acreage of land, going over hills and around a huge quarry, and it was lucky if we ever found the perfect tree within view of our car. This one, though...it was, frankly, easy. We immediately found several that would do the job, and the one we settled on was even chosen by Lily herself! (If you didn't know, one of our rules is that if Lily says a tree looks good, IT NEVER IS.) Every tree was a short distance from the car, and it was less of an expotition (TM A.A. Milne) than we were used to. But that's okay; it was cold and sleety and snowy and wet, and pretty miserable.

And I love this picture of me and Lily taken there:

The tree is at Dad's, waiting for me to hairspray it before they take it in (watch the Christmas episode of Mythbusters if you don't know what I mean). I'll bring over my South Park Christmas DVD this weekend and maybe it'll all be done next week!