Day 29

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I hope, first and foremost, to change my weight/body. I know I've been extremely lucky to not suffer and major health issues because of my weight, but I need to not take that for granted. It's easy to want to reduce my weight for appearance's sake, but that *does* sound petty. And, when I do allow myself to consider the worst that can happen at this weight, it's scary enough to want to change my habits forever. So I should focus on THOSE reasons, and not so much those size 12 jeans in my closet.

Day 28

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

While I don't think I want kids right now, I'm 99% sure I'd keep a baby if I got pregnant.

I don't really want the responsibility of taking care of a child...but I don't think I could let one go that Neil and I would make. It would work out. :)

Day 27

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My life is pretty damned fantastic.

Husband: Adorable. Supportive. Understanding. Doesn't leave the toilet seat up. Makes me feel sexy and beautiful every day. Does things for me all the time.

Friends: Funny, clever, creative, loving, nonjudgmental, and forever interested in me and my inanities.

Work: Exciting, fits me to a tee, excellent co-workers and friends.

Family: Best ever family. My dad's forever my hero, my sister ROCKS with her creativity and is delightful to be around, bro Joe is amazingly funny and intelligent, and bro Steve makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has.

It's ALL good, people.

Day 26

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Jesus, really? Wow.

Sure, I've thought about it. It terrifies me, and it would be an awful, hurtful, selfish thing to do, and I'm better than that. My life is worth so much to me.

That's all I have to say about this one.

Day 25

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

My father. My husband. And my fear of death.

Day 24

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

I hate this one. I hate it. I'll tell you one thing--I ain't gonna tackle this one today. And when I do, it's not going to be a playlist for one person. Gag me.

Day 23

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

I wish I had gone to Ireland and Spain when I had a chance. And Greece and Italy...and the not-Paris part of France.

I wish I had gone out last Friday.

I wish I had been more social in my last study-abroad experience. And during the first one, although I did let go during the latter part of it.

I wish I had been more comfortable with people touching me when I was thinner.

I wish I had done more in college. I could have done without watching an hour of The Simpsons every day after dinner, even though it was semi-social. I could have done more shows, joined more clubs, and shown more of an interest.

I wish I'd kept even a simple journal when I was growing up. I have random bits here and there, but really the only journal I have is reading my half of the ginormous collection of notes passed between me and a few friends in junior high & high school. They mostly consist of such gripping revelations as "12 more minutes of class and I AM SO BORED LINZEE" or "P.S. I heart Balty Getty."

Day 22

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wanted to blog this morning, but I just stared at the prompt and didn't know what to write. It kind of haunted me all day, in fact.

I think my biggest regret was wasting nine months of my life living in Urbana, Illinois. Absolutely, positively wasted.

Some good came of it; I think it's probably what made me pack up and move to NYC, and I certainly don't regret that. But...living in Urbana was the worst period of my life. It was taking what was a depressing situation and magnifying it a hundred times, and dragging what could have taken a few months to get over into almost a year. It affected almost all my relationships, and not in good ways.

Wish I'd listened to my parents on this one.

Day 21

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Drop everything and rush (as safely as I can muster) to the hospital.

Ask Mom to help keep them safe from too much pain/damage.

I'd feel terrible about the fight, but do everything I can to tell them petty fights don't matter in the long run...and I love them.

And it goes without saying: flowers/gifts out the wazoo. :)

Day 20

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I drink occasionally, and see no harm in people drinking at age 18/up as long as it doesn't get out of control.

As for drugs...I spent the majority of my life vehemently opposing all manner of illegal drug, down to the secondhand smoke off a bong that I encountered at a college house party.

I've outwardly become more accepting, as I know--in my head--that marijuana is hardly as damaging as drinking too much.

But I do still hate it. And I do still think that people who engage in drug-taking are pretty damned stupid. And I really get sad when I think of people I love partaking.

Day 19

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Dang, yo. We were getting all kinds of controversial up in here.

Religion: a nice idea, but people just don't seem to get that belief can't happen in any way but organically. Would you really want me to join your church if I don't truly believe in the aspects it professes? It seems to me that a lot of religions are all about the numbers...getting as many people as possible to convert or come to church. And that kinda gets under my skin. (Oh, and also, I don't need another thing to feel guilty about.)

Politics: I try to avoid discussions as much as possible, and articles/TV news/etc. on the topic. I'm mostly uninterested. I have my opinions on issues that I care about, but I refuse to feel guilty for not following closely what's going on in this insane country of ours.