A sprinkling of et cetera, a dash of romance

1. I'm very picky about strawberries, but I LOVE them. And I'm not a big fan of fruit in general, so when I find one I like, I try to have it as much as possible when it's at its best; i.e. strawberries RIGHT NOW. But I can't stand a single imperfect patch on them...and I don't mean just those nasty white fuzzy areas that everyone cuts off. Even the slightly darker-colored soft spots that they get simply by resting against the plastic in the container or another strawberry, means I have to perform Berry Surgery. Whenever anyone serves cut-up strawberries, for shortcake or whatever, it throws me off because I can't do my usual inspection without looking rude.

2. I'm on my second-to-last weekend at Stephens, and it is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g. This May has five weekends in it, and with the finish line so close, everything feels slow. Days at MOSL don't usually pass this sluggishly (unless it's Friday afternoon). It may have something to do with the fact that my Stephens office has huge windows overlooking this unspeakably cute bricked courtyard below with sun streaming through the trees arching above everything, whereas at MOSL we aren't really near windows at all so I have no idea what spring weather I'm missing. Which would normally be depressing, but my co-workers are such joys that it matters not.

3. Lily's dance recital was last night (and will be tonight). Sarah went with me, Dad, and Gilbert last night, and it was two and a half hours of Lily looking gorgeous, Lily looking adorable, and Lily taking my breath away. There were also the usual round-up of tiny, tiny 5-year-old girls and boys performing VERY cursory 'dance moves' to 1950s songs (i.e., "Book of Love") in their fluffy, tulle-ey sequined dance outfits (sequined vests and black shiny pants for the boys--

oh I just need to tell you one thing...in the aforementioned "Book of Love," during the "Chapter" verses, the little boy was, contrary to usual little boys in these types of dances, REALLY good. He went down the line of his four tiny girl co-dancers at each 'Chapter'--

Chapter One says to love her
You love her with all your heart
[tiny boy bows to first tiny girl, tiny boy moves on]
Chapter Two you tell her you're
Never, never, never, never, never gonna part
[tiny boy and second tiny girl vehemently shake their heads at each other like 'no no no no no no no no no', tiny boy moves on]
In Chapter Three remember the meaning of romance
[tiny boy links arms with third tiny girl and turns a circle with her, tiny boy moves on]
In Chapter Four you break up
But you give her just one more chance
[tiny boy spins fourth tiny girl]

I mean, at this age group, the most these dance teachers can hope for is a boy who will just stay in the line, much less one who Does The Actual Dance Steps. He was awesome. TOTAL player.

Once upon a time, I would have never loved this performance, as cute as it was, because my 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me in a note quoting the lyrics. It was, in my little world, devastating);

Paul Pepper and Uncle James creepily looking on from the audience (okay, I'm projecting the creepiness--and yeah, when Dad told me last night that 'Pepper & Friends' was being yanked from the air, I was a TEENSY bit sorry for them); at least one song I couldn't help dancing and singing along to (this year's pick: RuPaul's "Supermodel." YOU BETTER WORK); one instance of Lily bringing me to tears (happens every time, pretty much); and last but infinitely not least, several very unflattering dance costumes. I do love to dance, but I'm glad I don't have to stand in front of hundreds of people in velvet stretchy pants and a tight halter top every May.

4. I started pseudo-Weight Watchers on Thursday, and I think it's going well. I feel like I'm forever looking for a short-cut solution to weight loss, but I always come back to the WW philosophy. Yep, it sucks to be hungry...it sucks to have to leave the cheese off everything and be astounded at how small a serving really is, and to select the blander-tasting snack food (fat-free pretzels, yuck!) knowing you'd just eat the whole damned box of White Cheddar Cheez-Its within two days if you bought THAT one. And I'd completely planned on joining back in January, before our finances became really tight. Now, I've just done some research to find what points I should be at, how much activity I should be doing, and found an online calculator so I always know where I am at for my points totals during the day. And it's working fine. Boom, saved $20 a month!

5. I've been kind of half-ass following this blog, Starting Over at 24, written by this dude who broke up with his girlfriend after six years and has to start over in the dating world. I like cute little romance novels, so I'm always on the look-out for blogs that follow real-life adventures as a singleton because it's so cool to see where they end up (so let me know if you follow any, too!). And sure enough, SO@24 got a visit from an internet correspondent (and blog-follower), Beth, not long ago, and they apparently had a ridiculous weekend together...both are completely giggly and excited for what may happen next and planning for MANY future visits (they're on opposite coasts--and they've already spent like three weekends together in the course of a month and a half or so) and it's just...so, so cute.

Anyway, this satisfying finale (and he's said he's ending the blog since he's pretty sure this is the ONE, so it really is a finale) made me regret so bad that I'd not had a blog (or done things the old-fashioned way with a pen and lined journal) around the time I met Neil. The way Beth writes about their first meeting makes me wish I'd captured those days in my life...not because I yearn for them, but because I was so giddy and out-of-my-head happy that I really *don't* completely remember every bit of how I was feeling, and I'd like to. I have little notes written down about what we did around town, what movies we saw, etc...but there's nothing like describing an event when the emotions are fresh and raw. Through the bad times this past year, and also when Mom was sick (and even junior year of high school, when she had brain surgery), I wrote things--blog/journal entries, e-mails to friends, etc., that I can't yet reread. When I have in the past, I break down. But I love that I *have* them.

And I wish I could re-visit how I felt that Friday afternoon (November 17, 2006), watching the clock at work, hightailing it out of Special Collections exactly at five and racing downstairs to release a few minutes of tension with Sarah, who was working at the Ref Desk, before heading home to shower and gussy myself up...a couple hours later, laying on the couch as the minute hand inched to the '12,' knowing he was due any minute. I mean...I remember the facts. I just wish I'd recorded my exact feelings, then and during the weekend, and the Sunday night after he'd left and I'd spent three hours gushing to some friends at the winery about the visit. And, like these two (Beth and SO@24) say over and over, I knew it may have sounded crazy to everyone else...but I knew it about Neil. I knew that if he'd have me, he was my One. After three days! I mean, I'd hoped for it, so bad, as had he, but we also both realized we couldn't know for sure until we had really met. And Beth's post about her feelings before the meet-up brought back so many memories of those doubts and fears and excitement and, finally, relief and unbelievable happiness.



I'm happy with the memories I have...I just wish I'd captured more in black and white.