A few more things.

Okay, now that I've gotten that first post out of the way (that was a hard one to hit "Publish Post" on, let me tell you...), it's back to the details. The minutiae, if you will.

1. I'd like to incorporate some strength training into my routine. Nothing kettle-ball intensive, just some hand/ankle weight stuff. I stocked up on my last trip to Play It Again Sports, so there are no excuses...

2. I had some major blood-workage done in late July, and I was *terrified*. I was positive it would come back with my cholesterol out of control and with the news I had diabetes and a low life expectancy and EVERYTHING bad. I did a major 5-day boot camp before the blood was taken, after two months of being totally off-plan, and went in with fingers crossed. The check-up began with disappointment, when Dr. Johnson informed me I hadn't lost any weight in the six months since I'd seen her last (and she'd given me the simple goal of losing 5-10 pounds in that time, which I figured would have been easy-peasy). I'd lost and gained a bunch of weight in that six-month period, actually, but it was depressing to know nothing had come of it.

My blood work came back within two weeks, and it was....Perfect. 100%, everything within a good range, absolutely fine. And while that news had me a little gobsmacked, a small part of me felt hopeless. I *wanted* to get scared. I *wanted* something horrible to show up on that test, to MAKE me shift into high gear and get rid of all this extra weight. What was my motivation now?

Well, that's stupid. I can find motivation anywhere. But at that moment, I wondered what it would take.

3. I've found ways to creatively incorporate exercise into my routine so that it's not just this boring thing to get through. I discovered that I can read pretty well when I walk in place in our little carpeted "exercise-room" at work (just a curtained-off square of the warehouse), and at home, I walk or dance in the living room to upbeat or inspirational shows like "The Biggest Loser," "Glee," or "Dance Your Ass Off."

But, I get nervous. I hate exercising around other people. I'd like to someday try a group exercise class, but am not ready for that yet. In the past months, I've gone to two water-aerobics sessions, and I was emotionally okay, but physically uncomfortable surrounded by so many people flailing about. My discomfort wasn't about my body in a swimsuit, though, for once.

4. I regularly keep up with weight-loss blogs, written not by diet experts, but folks with my same struggle. And I read a great entry today, on Deciding. I'm paraphrasing, but what the blogger Lyn wrote was that every time we put anything bad into our mouths, we are DECIDING to do it. We are not Out Of Control. We can't say "I couldn't help myself." And chalking our "discretions" up to a loss of control is just an excuse.


Okay, enough diet talk for now. So many other good things are happening now...it's so odd to finally feel this way after a lifetime of not really feeling it, but I am excited to be alive...for things that are coming, for my own accomplishments, for my husband, and for my family and friends. I have so many, many things to be grateful for.



Completely unrelated P.S...
I am currently going through my entire scrapbooking-materials collection and weeding, organizing, and USING it. It feels awesome. I have such trouble *implementing*, and I love having a few scrappy friends nearby to do actual cropping with. I spend many happy evenings separating stickers into categories (or, as Dad calls it, taking a bus driver's vacation) these days, and our dining table is set up so I can use it as a craft table when I want. I love it.