Unease, and attempting to lose it.

Monday morning...back at work, full blast.



I'm glad I started on Friday, so it wasn't a totally dreadful Sunday night..I have to squeeze in 40 hours by this coming Friday, so I'm working more than I normally would. And today I'm alone and can play music loud-ish while I work on cataloging...but I don't feel like it. I've been trying to distract myself from thinking too much, which isn't easy when it's so quiet here.



The waiting, as I told Neil last night, is the worst part about this whole thing. We're all tortured right now, and it is 99% likely that this whole ordeal will be fine...Paul will be in for a rough six months, to be sure, but as I mentioned in a previous post, at the end he won't be in such discomfort as he has been for months. And 99%...that's HUGE! I shouldn't worry. And I know if things hadn't gone the way they did three years ago (three years ago, almost exactly), I wouldn't be. I'd know it was all gonna be just dandy, and look forward to the day when PP could call and tell us "Guys, the itching is GONE!"



So, I need to talk myself into being positive. Because my brain knows I shouldn't focus on the 1%. That is nothing!



My next section shall be called:

Focusing on Other Things

• Last Wednesday, Joe, Tina and I went to see Roger in "High School Musical" in Macon. As Joe astutely pointed out on the way home, that show has approximately five songs in total, which are just repeated at length. I've only seen it twice (once was the movie), but I would feel comfortable singing just about every word from memory, if a gun was held to my head. (Okay, okay...I wouldn't feel comfortable. Or even really "in control of my bladder," if you will. But I could probably squeak the words out.)

• I made shepherd's pie with mashed cauliflower, and it turned out SUPER! Now I have delicious leftovers for, like, a week.

• My auctions are almost done! Of course, after more than a month of smooth sailing, NOW it seems no one wants to pay and I'm forced to be annoying and threaten Unpaid Item Strikes. And one really neat figure was broken en route. But I'm glad to see that the end is near. I've never done anything so tedious (and I'm a freakin' cataloger).

• There is a heat warning today and for the next some days, where the heat index will reach 105 to 115. I'd say "Bring it on, bitches!" but we both know I don't really mean that. I suppose it's what we deserve after such a mild and lovely summer. Really makes me wonder if I belong in the PacNW/Frisco area someday...

• I'm rereading New Moon now, and I'm impatient. It's disappointing that, so far, these books don't stand up to a reread. It's a good thing their red-and-black covers match our decor so well, or I would have regretted buying them. Proof positive that, for me at least, these are not the next Harry Potters. (Speaking of...I finally finished downloading the Stephen-Fry-read HPs!! That was a big to-do-eventually item. Those things always feel great to check off, because you're never sure they'll get done, even though you really want them to. And they're not important enough to make a priority.)

• Neil talked to Meme and Papa last night, and they told him that, as our wedding gift, they'd completely pay for our honeymoon! Because the budgetary stuff wasn't really going as smoothly as I had predicted, I didn't know if we'd be able to afford leaving town at all, so it was awesome to learn that not only would we get to go, but that we won't have to be worried the whole time about the expenses of the trip. I definitely don't want to take advantage of their generosity, though; we're not going to stay in honeymoon suites or eat at four-star restaurants every night or anything. But we'll get to spend a few days in Cincy, a few days in Youngstown to see our Dazets, and take our time getting there (i.e., we won't have to make that 14-hour trip in one day). Yay! I may have to figure out ways to cut corners elsewhere, but it is WONDERFUL to know that we won't need to be concerned about the trip.
  

• Em showed me her new toy last time I was there: Remember the Milk, a to-do-list website. I'm totes hooked now, and since it's way easier than coming here to gray things out, I believe the end has come for posting them here...reducing the minutiae content of this thing, for sure...but don't worry. I have plenty more inanity in my life to share! I couldn't wait to show Neil, so once I got my to-dos on there and organized, I called him over, knowing he'd appreciate it. Before I could say a word, he blurted "Remember the Milk!"--apparently, it was on the Wired list of the best up-and-coming websites. We are sooooo ahead of the crowd, Emily!
  

• You know what is an *awesome* song to wake up to? "New Shoes" by Paolo Nutini. It'll have you dancing in bed (not the dirty kind, people--behave) when you're still groggily. Impossible, you say? This song'll make you do it. This morning it was "Closing Time"...which I like, but not as a wake-up song. It's more like a good-night,-weary-souls song. Steve always liked how it rhymes "jackets" with "exits." I'd make a "Good tunes to wake up to" cd and set it for a different track each morning on the alarm clock, but I'm afraid I'd get sick of some of my favorite songs, and I NEVER want to think "Oh great, ABBA again." St. Louis has this radio station called "Up 101" or something, and it only plays upbeat new-ish songs. I LOVE IT SO BAD. It even has a special pre-set on my car's favorite stations, even though it won't work here. I need that station for my alarm.

• A janitor is talking to someone on his cell, right outside my office, about needing to get someone over to clean up some water in the "liberry." Sigh. I'd accept this from a toddler--maybe even be charmed--but a middle-aged man? (Do you think I'm a snob? Maybe I am. I meanly enjoy when public figures who try really hard to look cultured and intelligent, like Johnny Depp or Kevin Spacey, make a language gaffe in an interview--even though I like Kevin Spacey. A lot! I guess it makes me feel superior for a second, even though I'll probably never get a People's Choice Award or make over $15 an hour.)

• When I look at my diet over the past couple months, it's been good. I haven't gotten sick of the plan, and feel like I can continue on it indefinitely. But I've been stalling for the last couple weeks, and that's depressing. Especially since I cut out all low-carb products (like sugar-free chocolate) and try to keep my cheese intake down to 4 ounces a day (which is still a lot!). BUT, I am totally envious that all Neil did was switch from regular to diet generic Mountain Dew and is losing faster than I am.

• In the courtyard outside my window, there is one long strand of a spiderweb running from the building to a bush about 20 feet away. How the hell did that happen? Spiders can't fly, right? I mean, I know they kind of float gracefully, like at the end of Charlotte's Web, but to *float* for 20 feet across, with very little elevation to work with? Is there like some invisible zipline they set up ahead of time? On a related note, ziplines look fun, but I don't know if I'd ever do it. It's probably mondo expensive, too, for like 20 seconds of glee. Same reason I doubt I'll ever jetski. (Another side note: I like the word "spinnet." Any word with "spin" in it is good. In general, too, I like words with double letters. Like, I don't like frogs really, but the French word for them, grenouille, is really fantastic. But it's not the same for words like llama or Llewellyn. *Starting* with a double-letter-combo is just too weird. Can I do that? Call a name a word, I mean. Is "Genevieve" a word? It's probably in the dictionary. But only because it was a saint or whatever.)

• I am a big fan of stream-of-consciousness writing. If you couldn't tell.

• I think I'll go now. There are books needing their call numbers verified, and by God, if I don't do it...well, no one will really care.