I Quit.

I'd been having an okay week. I was sticking to the plan (mostly...Superbowl Seven-Layer Dip probably wasn't going to get me under my 20-carb limit!), and had re-stocked our fridge and my area of the cabinet with low-carb-friendly meals and snacks. I was getting used to this. I was never hungry and never really craving things uncontrollably, and I was kinda loving the 'no-exercise' aspect....more time to snuggle with the hubs and watch Jersey Shore!

I woke up this Monday morning, and it was like a Truck of Disgust hit me. It all sounded so revolting. Slim Jims for snacks, microwave sausage every morning, endless waxy rounds of Babybel cheese and foil triangles of Laughing Cow...rolled pieces of hard salami with cream cheese in the middle...even my beloved sour deviled eggs didn't sound good. I felt like throwing up, thinking of everything. That vomitous feeling continued throughout the day.

And then I remembered....this happened before. It's why I eventually stopped this diet, more than once. I remembered that when I'd felt it before, I tried and TRIED to overcome it....experimented with riced cauliflower, mail-ordered the best (and, generally, most expensive) sugar-free chocolate ever, ate more salads and veggies so everything wouldn't taste so heavy. But nothing worked, even after weeks.

And...call me a wimp....but I couldn't face that again. As much as I love the expediency of weight-loss on this plan (and as much as I love smothering everything I eat with melted cheese!), it just wasn't worth the suffering I was beginning to feel. I knew it would be fairly easy to get back into a lower-calorie groove, with my good friends at GoWear Fit (my calories-burned device) and Lean Pockets.

So, as of this morning, I'm five pounds down from my initial weigh-in, pre-Atkins. I have 2.5 seasons of Biggest Loser on the DVR to work out to, and 25 visits to the ARC to use up. It's going to be difficult, and it's gonna be slow. But if I'm GOOD, it won't be so bad.

Yeah, I know....I'm fickle. But I think I can definitively say that this was my last go at the low-carb thang.

Wasting my TIME!

Neil and I have been suuuuuper productive lately. We've almost completely cleared out the second bedroom so he can use it as his Space, and are in the process of building up my Craft Area so I won't have to dig through tubs every time I want to find the adorable vintage pointy-finger stamp Linz got me for Christmas.

We are SOOOOO excited! I've had a craft area before, but it wasn't very organized, and it took up half the living room...and I didn't use it as often as I meant to. But I'm approaching this Area with a new sense of de-cluttering, having done research again and again for what systems work the most for scrapbookers. And, after two trips to IKEA, I am finally ready to go! I'm so looking forward to building the new shelves and carefully planning what papers and binders and embellishments go in what area. The goals are Accessibility and Relative Attractiveness. I also know that as I get into all my stuff, I will be letting go of things along the way--always a satisfying feeling.

SO. In that vein...I've deleted most of my computer games I waste hours and hours on. No more Cities of Wonder, no more Bejeweled, no more WordTwist, PathWords, or Scramble. (I'm keeping Scrabble, because that's actual - virtual - interaction with friends and family.) Even watching a DVR'ed episode of Biggest Loser will make me feel more productive (and more inspired!) than two hours of mindless clicking on my cities to retrieve the goods or population.

I've always had an affinity for games, but I'm really going to try and do without the ones that I play alone, and devote that free time to reading or crafting. Or EVEN exercising (though a very, very nice aspect of low-carb/Atkins is that no exercise is required in order to lose scads of weight). But I suppose it can't *hurt*...

Eight!

Pounds gone, that is.

I've had a crazy couple of weekends since starting this...first, Chicago, where I didn't exactly adhere to the plan (c'mon...Portillo's, people!), and then a second trip to Chicagoland, where I DID (er, as much as one can when you're eating Denny's mysterious Side Salad and need the A-1 to make the t-bone palatable). Other than that, though, I was at or below 20 carbs a day.

I'm so glad this works for me. It's the one diet where I don't ever feel hungry or deprived...much. I DO get cravings, but if I look hard enough, I can generally find substitutes that will suffice.

Here I go again...

I feel like a broken record...but here it is, January 11 (1/11/11!) and I've begun another new plan for the new year. I love starting new each year...it always seems like no matter how much bad stuff I've done to my body, or whatever crap is going on in other areas of life, that I'm always given a fresh start to change it up.

I realize it's a controversial choice, but I'm back on the old low-carb plan. I feel like I have to defend it, but the bottom line is...I need my weight to go down. And I like this diet just fine. And, frankly, I don't eat well one bit when I'm not on it (despite trying...I just don't have the discipline), so reducing starches and sugars can only help me.

I've also done some reading about transitioning back to traditional eating once I've reached my goal weight, and feel like I have the resources necessary to help me do that. There's been a high 'regain-plus' trend for low-carbers once they come off the plan, because they immediately start gorging on carbs again (even if they're eating low-fat). Bodies need time to come off ketosis, and the key is to slowly re-integrate carbs per week.

BUT, that won't be for awhile. I just like having that to look forward to in the days when I get sick of these heavy foods.

That's also not to say that I won't have little carb-breaks here and there--I'm not visiting Florida in February without trying some fresh citrus!--but with the understanding that any deviation from 20 carbs a day means I definitely won't lose weight for the day, and a full day off usually means no loss or a slight gain for the week. I love the idea of being held accountable, so there may be a few boring what-I-ate-today posts here and losses for the week. :)

I am going to try, try, try not to weigh myself more than once a week. The first time I did this, it was SUCH a high to get on that scale every morning and see it go down 1-2 pounds every day at first. But then it was all the harder on the days when there was inexplicably no weight loss.

I'm excited about this new plan (I've done it several times so it actually seems almost old-hat now), and made it through that always-sucky first day without maniacally craving a ginormous piece of chocolate cake. I'm stocked at work with pepperoni, turkey jerky, pickled eggs, pickled cauliflower, olives, and almonds for snacks this week. and bunless chili cheese dogs for lunch today.

I hope the next time I check in here, it'll be a good progress report!

Day 29

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I hope, first and foremost, to change my weight/body. I know I've been extremely lucky to not suffer and major health issues because of my weight, but I need to not take that for granted. It's easy to want to reduce my weight for appearance's sake, but that *does* sound petty. And, when I do allow myself to consider the worst that can happen at this weight, it's scary enough to want to change my habits forever. So I should focus on THOSE reasons, and not so much those size 12 jeans in my closet.

Day 28

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

While I don't think I want kids right now, I'm 99% sure I'd keep a baby if I got pregnant.

I don't really want the responsibility of taking care of a child...but I don't think I could let one go that Neil and I would make. It would work out. :)

Day 27

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My life is pretty damned fantastic.

Husband: Adorable. Supportive. Understanding. Doesn't leave the toilet seat up. Makes me feel sexy and beautiful every day. Does things for me all the time.

Friends: Funny, clever, creative, loving, nonjudgmental, and forever interested in me and my inanities.

Work: Exciting, fits me to a tee, excellent co-workers and friends.

Family: Best ever family. My dad's forever my hero, my sister ROCKS with her creativity and is delightful to be around, bro Joe is amazingly funny and intelligent, and bro Steve makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has.

It's ALL good, people.